The Man’s guest blog…
Well, I’m honored and excited. My Man has asked me to do a guest blog and is letting me do it without even knowing what it would be about. (Ok…he has full editing and veto rights…but this is really how our life is and I don’t mind so much…I’ve come to cherish it oddly enough.) So what would I write about that he couldn’t do better? The only answer is himself.
My Man came to me when I was ready for such a gift and not when I wished for it. I have come to understand that God often works this way. From a very young age I had decided what I wanted most in life and what was important to me. I never wavered from my earliest memories in my dedication to the quest. I wanted true love. As a child I dreamed of this person who would be my best friend and truest confidant….the person I could share everything with and have as an anchor in life. My dreams of the future were always about having this great love…not so much what I would be, what I would do, or where I would travel. All my dreams of happiness hinged on finding this person I knew was out there. I was scared sometimes, in such a big world, that I would never find this person…or that I might find the person I felt this way about and it would not be returned. I often didn’t think I was so worthy to have what I longed for…so this was a big concern for me always.
So I met Rick. My heart fell. I didn’t dare speak to him for 6 months after I met him because I knew if I did he would know how I felt. I was very afraid of that…too afraid that I really had found him and that my biggest fear would be reality. For 6 months I observed. I had to be sure. He was, and is, a strong man. He didn’t let others make his choices for him. He was kind. He was admired and pursued by so many, yet he seemed so alone. I finally got the courage to speak. You know the line “you had me at hello”…yeah…it was exactly like that.
I tell the same story about him so often that many of you if you know me have heard it already…sorry. It is, though, the story that, to me, conveys the spirit of the man I love. There are many, many more, but it was a moment where he made me stop and examine myself and realize that I wanted to be with him that I could learn to be more like him. We took a trip together to Toronto. It was a magical trip really…we were so in love and it was so new for us still. We, as we always do, walked for miles just exploring and seeing the city and all the little out of the way corners that don’t make the tourbooks…we like that. So anyway, we were walking along and I was endlessly expounding on something or other (you probably already deduce that I’m that way if you don’t know me and are sure of it if you do) and realized he wasn’t beside me and I was getting some odd stares walking along there talking like I had an imaginary friend by my side. I looked back to see Rick half a block behind me on his knees talking to an elderly, very down and out homeless man who was lying on the curb. The man had asked Rick for a cigarette…(ok not very glamorous, but not the point) and Rick had given him one and was lighting it for him. They were smiling at each other. I walked closer as Rick then sat down on the curb, feet in the gutter and the two of them talked and laughed. I watched. Rick took time with him, looked him in the eye, they shared some laughs, touched each other…I don’t think I even breathed…I was so entranced. When they had talked a while, Rick said he had to move on but had so enjoyed talking with him and gave him his pack of cigarettes and his lighter. He put his hand on the man’s shoulder and squeezed it. The old man looked so happy. He told Rick what a good man he was and thanked him for not just walking by…as I had. So many people never saw him he said…as I hadn’t. I was ashamed and at the same time so struck with admiration for this man…my Man. I determined to be different myself so that my Man could be as proud of me as I was of him.
I know I’ll never be like him. We are so different after all, but that’s part of the fun of our life together. I have learned from him, though, to see people…to take the time to look someone in the eye and say hello. I take time to just talk with people that I never would have because, for some strange reason, I didn’t realize I could. I do every day now. Soon after our trip I remember taking the time to talk with a homeless man in our home town. It just happened…because I actually saw him. We talked, we laughed…I saw that same light in his eyes when he realized someone saw him and cared to hear him speak…and laugh with him…and shake his hand. As he walked away I realized I had just learned something else I couldn’t have learned from just watching. The connection, the warmth, the kindness…it wasn’t a gift that Rick had given that man…it was an exchange….it was given and returned. That kind man that I would have never seen before was more a blessing in my day than I in his. So I keep finding it to be true…every day.
So that’s my guest blog. My Man is my teacher. He’s so much more…he’s a comedian, an artist, a caretaker, a guardian…I could go on and on. He fascinates me…after 10 years together I just love watching him still…what he does…how he goes about things. Still every now and then he unlocks some little corner of the world…some magical wonderful little tucked away corner…that I never saw. The veil falls away , I see, and I’m astounded. How could I have been so blind? Perhaps I’ll get to tell you about them sometime if the blogmeister is so benevolent as to allow…