Life on the farm with the Man…and our critters…

Archive for January, 2014

Image

The Retaking…

The retaking...


The Return…

IMG_0723It’s been nearly 2 years since I last wrote a new blog entry, at least one that I’ve actually published.  I’ve started many of them, with each one being “the one” that got me back in the groove of writing.  None of them were actually finished though, and the months ticked by while “Me and the Man” remained idle.  To be fair, I’ve had plenty to fill my time here on the Farm, and trying to form my thoughts into words at the end of a busy day grew more daunting as time passed.  A serious case of depression also tapped my energy level, and my muse deserted me.  Trying to write blogs that filled others with good thoughts and warm feelings became impossible, and after awhile I stopped trying.  What’s changed, you ask?  Time does tend to heal wounds, even ones inflicted by family members.  The word “heal” is used loosely, of course.  “Fade” works better, because some things cannot be forgotten or forgiven, no matter how hard I try.  I wish I could, but that is a battle I’ve chosen not to fight at the moment.  Instead, one day I decided that I needed to stop looking behind, and start looking at the present and the future.  There are many, many things that I am thankful for, not the least being my best friend and husband, Jack.  He is my rock, has been for 13 years and our marriage is now recognized in my home state.  In the past year, I’ve reconnected with old friends that were always more like family to me, and became more involved with the Shriners by joining the Mini Racers unit that participated in parades across the state every weekend.  I’ve lost animals here on the farm that I had become very close to, but have also added others that fill my days with joy and laughter.  My love for photography has returned, and I once again view all things as though through a camera lens.  Music flows through me, encouraging me to dance and pick up instruments I had set aside.  I laugh more, and Jack laughs both with and at me.  I’ve discovered just what my own limits are, and in doing so, I’m able to give more of myself to others again.  I’ve rediscovered the joy of helping others when I can, and have formed bonds and made friends along the way.  One recent journey turned into a very spiritual experience for me, and I will carry the mark of it with me forever.  IMG_0775I still have moments when the clouds pass over, but no more than anyone else, and I deal with them accordingly.  Overall, I’m quite happy with how the past year played out, and I feel as though I’m a better man than I was 12 months ago.  What do I expect 2014 to bring?  I take nothing for granted, and am thankful for everything, and I can only hope that the coming year will be as good as the past one was.  I will continue to try to be a better man, to do the right thing always, and to do my best to cause no harm.  That is all I can do.  If I’m lucky, my muse will return as in days past, and I’ll be able to share my life with you again in this blog.  I wish you all many blessings in the coming year…